I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
