People in love make me want to vomit
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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