i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
