Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
