Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
