When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
