my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
