doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
