First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
