Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
