My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
