So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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