If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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