my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize