Kareoke will never be a sober sport
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she pinky promised me she was 18
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
