Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
