i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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