I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize