I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
