Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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