when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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