im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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