he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize