The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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