I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
