Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
