then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
