Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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