there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
we should paint friendship bongs
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
