What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
