it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
