Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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