so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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