He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize