need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just fell off a train. Bad.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize