lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize