is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
