I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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