Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
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There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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