i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
