my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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