I cockslap morals
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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