There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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