The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
