So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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