well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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