Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
