We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
