So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
