I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
