I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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