i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...