mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch