I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place