Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
