You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
