so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize