you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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