I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
