the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize