i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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